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May 20, 2005
I believe...
I'm pretty cynical. As a person, I mean.
I tend to view things pretty negatively, at least at first, if not forever more.
Let me dispell a myth. It is not "cool", as the kids say, to be a cynic. It's not fun, and you tend to have a very bleak outlook on life in general, and difficulty believing in anything.
Well, anything except undeniable fact.
You're just itching for an example aren't you, you little faggot? I'll not disappoint.
Drakul likes to have his dick sucked by guys. Furthermore, he enjoys the packing of ass. With gusto. These things I know, and they lead me to the solid undeniable fact that Drakul is gay.
But that's not really all that cynics can believe in.
For one thing, many cynics believe in their utter devotion to their own cynicism -- a rather romantic notion if you really think about it. This is not solid undeniable fact, but rather, at least to us onlookers, something far less tangible than, say, Drakul's penchant for anal sex with men.
Far fewer, at least, that I've seen, will confess their belief in other things, especially those things less tangible, like, for instance, faith in something, lest it run counter to their all too hip impression of their own cynicism.
The trick here, is the understanding that being cynical about things cannot exclude ones self, or indeed, ones' cynicism.
Being cynical about your own cynicism allows you a suspension of reality in which you are able, if only for a moment, to have beliefs in something. Anything.
This suspension allows us to believe that things like jumping from a tall place with a bit of elastic affixed to our legs is a good idea, despite being pioneered in the antipodes by some insane fucker not known for brilliant ideas.
And it allows us to have a belief that what we're doing, in some way, matters, and that it will result in something that we can perceive to be good. That we can, aided by others, achieve something utterly unrealistic for the gain of all (where "all" consists mostly of shareholders).
But what happens when the belief ends? When we're jolted back to reality and decide that it's all really utter crap?
I look deep within myself, and cynically at my own cynicism, and enter a moment of suspended disbelief whereby I can subscribe to my personal ethics, quit my job, call someone gay, and begin the search for alternate employment.
Posted by j at May 20, 2005 07:10 PM