February 10, 2008

JPMorganChase can kiss my entire ass.

Opening a new bank account should a) not take 45 minutes of sitting in a branch. Really. It shouldn't. Especially not 45 minutes after the "customer service rep" actually acknowledges my existence. But okay. Things are slow around lunchtime I guess.

I deposit a decent chunk of money, via a check to me, into the account to open it. Several thousand dollars, which I need (fairly urgently) to cover current expenses, but expenses which really would like a local bank account. Again, fine. This is Tuesday.

Saturday I get a snailmail letter explaining that the deposit I've made is 'on hold' - but they will graciously allow me access to $100 of it. The reason? I quote:

the deposited check(s) is/are not consistent with the account's normal deposit activity
Um. So, how, precisely, could any check be consistent with this account's normal deposit activity when this is the OPENING DEPOSIT?

Upon phoning, Chase informs me helpfully that it doesn't matter anyway because any check from a bank outside of New York's tri-state area is automatically hit with a 5 business day hold time.

I'm not saying I really object to the latter. But the first one? Stupid. I mean, if they'd said "All first deposited checks to new accounts are subject to hold for verification..." I'd really be probably okay with it. Except...

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO HAVE BEEN TOLD EITHER OF THESE WHILE OPENING THE FUCKING ACCOUNT.

Assholes.

Posted by jbz at February 10, 2008 6:07 PM | TrackBack

Comments

I have hit the same thing a few times. The usual excuse is post 9/11 security measure. The real reason??? All I know is I want to see their book and make sure all my fractional pennies from the delay accredited to MY account...not theirs. I mean really, if they 'hold' a few thou from enough accounts every day thats a WHOLE lot of potential interest. If you need to get around it pay the $ and do a wire transfer instead of a check, no holds on those.

Posted by: Kermit at February 11, 2008 10:48 PM
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